Parenting Wound – Causes and Healing

Childhood is the foundation of who we are as adults, hence it is crucial too. It is the stage where our views and beliefs are formed and molded. Childhood is always a mixed experience of happiness, hurting, trust, wound and more. For children, parents are their superheroes, and they are the best supporters with unconditional love.

Unfortunately, there are situations where a child would have gone through only with hurting, wounds and traumas making the child to feel lost. As we grow up, we carry this inner child, and it also impacts our physical/mental development, relationships and more. Healing this inner child starts with themselves and is very much essential to fix it. Start loving oneself unconditionally and create an emotional turbulence. Helping to come out of the inner child that is wounded would be a game changer, making the individual feel integrated and whole.

It is believed that, a child’s characteristics are developed based on the relationship that the child has with its caregivers (parents) 

So what if the parents are not available emotionally for the child ? What if parents are not friendly? What if they are arrogant or abusive?

This article is all about parenting wound—their causes and tips for healing them. Hoping this article would be a piece of relief for the pain and suffering any individual might be experiencing right now.

What is parenting wound?

Parenting wound— this is the greatest pain that a child could experience during its early years. Emotional absence of parents during a child’s early years is considered to be “Parenting Wound”. Being abusive, negative, arrogant and more can lead the inner child to get affected with parent wounding.


Parenting wound are in two variations,

Mother Wound

Emotional absence of a mother with her child. This is mostly experienced between mother and daughters but, at times, happens with sons. This really hurts when we realize that a mother is not the person you would like her to be. Her emotional absence, the wound, hurting, traumas gets cultivated within oneself when experiencing mother wound in the earlier days. 

This would create a great impact in one’s life when the individual grow up as an adult and may make situations worse by impacting their relationships. This can also be experienced by kids whose mothers are single working women, where their emotional absence often happens throughout their childhood

Father Wound

Emotional absence of a father with his child. This is mostly experienced between father, son/daughter. The father absenteeism both emotionally and physically or being negative/abusive can create a great impact in the mental development of the children, affecting their future relationship too. This would also develop anxiety, depression, low-confidence and more within the child, influencing their growth to an extreme.

The parenting wound would contribute the child to develop toxic relationships, anxiety, depression addictions of alcohol/drugs for soothing their emotions. It is also to be noted that a child who experiencing parenting wound is most likely to maintain the same kind of relationship with his/her children.

What could cause parenting wound?

Below are some causes for parenting wound,

  • Providing physical support to the child but fail to express the love and care for the child\
  • Doesn’t try to understand the child’s emotions and feelings
  • Not allowing the child to express negative emotions
  • Unable to offer love and care to the child due to some physical/ emotional abuse experienced by the parent
  • Emotional absence of the parents
  • Untreated health conditions
  • Addiction to alcohol or drugs

How to heal parenting wound?

If the inner child has experienced a parenting wound, it is essential to work on it and overcome it. For this, below are some effective ways that would help to get healed from the parenting wound

  • Accept the absence of one’s parents (mother/father)
  • Develop self-love
  • Allow to feel the pain of unloved and get deviated it by engaging with some activities 
  • The individual must understand their feelings and research on what they want
  • Engage with self-soothing activities
  • Review and set boundaries
  • Spend time with people who an add colors to one’s life, not with the ones who make life colorless

Wrapping Up

Parenting wound is something that needs to be healed. Getting healed from the emotional absence of parents (mother/father) is a time taken process, and it depends on the density of the wound that have been affected. The healing process is a journey where the individual will get to know who they are?/ what they want? It helps them with benefits like freeing oneself from anxiety, depression and many more positives in different ways. 

If you are looking for any assistance or therapist who could help you to heal the parent wound that you have gone through, you can approach Different Approaches Therapy that has nearly 15+ experience in psychiatry management.